Leslie Vanderpool

A memoir in progress

Held

A memoir of losing control
and finding faith.

When everything fell apart, something greater held.

A note from LeslieWriting Held has been a way of making sense of the unraveling—and noticing the quiet ways I was held through it.
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About Leslie

I began writing after a season that answered some of my biggest questions in ways I never expected.

I'm Leslie—a wife, mother, Bible teacher, and writer. For years, I believed part of having faith was holding everything together. Then illness, loss, and the limits of my own control made me question whether I had ever truly learned to rest in my faith.

I write for women walking through hard and ordinary days, especially those who need room for honesty, hope, and a little grace.

The book

Held

A memoir of losing control and finding faith

Held moves between a hospital room in 2021 and the memories that formed my understanding of courage, family, surrender, and God. It is not a story about having unwavering faith. It is a story about discovering that even wavering faith can be held.

The manuscript is currently in revision.

For reading groups

Book Club Companion

Chapter-by-chapter questions for honest conversation, personal reflection, and optional faith discussion.

This companion is being written alongside Held. When it is complete, readers will be able to download a printable guide for their group.

In development

Sample questions

Chapter 1: Outside the ER

  1. How did you feel as you read Chapter 1? Which part affected you most?
  2. Leslie finds herself caring about the injured man beside her even while she is afraid for her own life. What does this moment reveal about her?
  3. Leslie begins bargaining with God while she waits. Why do you think the desire for control becomes stronger when circumstances feel most uncertain?

Optional faith reflection

What is the difference between trusting God and trying to negotiate the outcome we want?

Notes from Leslie

Small stories.
Quiet encouragement.

A first note

The water is fine once you get in

My grandmother knew something about getting in. She water-skied into her late seventies in the cold waters of the Pacific Northwest. The rest of us watched while she skimmed across the water as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Her words became part of our family language. Usually, they meant: stop standing there worrying about how cold it will be. Take the first step.

Sometimes moving forward simply means trusting that we will not enter the water alone.